nothing great here

nothing to write these days, just that i am getting more sincere, going to pt, no games, no bc, busy all day.

yesterday i called her (obviously after her blank call). two more deaths of her knowns. so more disturbance. she was very different today. kindof more like non understanding, blaming me for smallest things, irritated, fedup. maybe all coz of disturbance. cut the phone without 1,2,3. She does the 123 stuff only for me, and does not like to do it. Its ridiculous for her. ok i won't do that every again.

She doesnot trust me. She thinks that i don't have time for her. I don't give her any importance. I don't miss her. Or maybe its my mistake. I dont flirt her.
Remember one think Sunny... no matter how close you are, how much you understand her... but its always important to flirt a girl. No matter you are married. Never stop flirting her. No matter what but never forget to SHOW your love.

Actually I never stopped saying I love you. I say it much more than anything. She doesnot feel it anymore. She is kind of used to it. She cannot feel the meaning of it. At starting everytime i said it, she liked it. but now she doesn't even notice when i say it. it goes so unnoticed. the reason is that its so usual, i say it 10 times in a min. how can someone notice it everytime i say it. the problem is my saying i love you does not echo after one hour. she has nothing to think about the talk all through the night, i cannot prepare some sweet sweet talks everytime, that she will like to hearm and think about all night, infact i never did that, but the usual words might have caused this effect at starting.

why did i write all this stuff. maybe i am angry at her yesterdays behaviour and i want to speak out. i don't like to be blammed by her for my wrong attitude, coz its not wrong. i try to be humourous than senti. and she is fed up of my humour. she gets irritated at it. i never praised her about anything. i never said i liked something in you. and i am sure she is feeling bad about it. because really i dont't have any such thing to speak about. i just love her. and more than that i want to care her and love her.

she is not bad. and she understand everything. she understand all that i am writing, and she know it all very well. but she just says anyhthing. she just says anything without thinking. she can say anything which she never before thought about. anything that comes out at the moment. no matter what it is. good or bad. something she doesnot mean at all. and she will never be able to help herself out of it. thank god i understand that. :)

yesterday we both were silent on phone for about 5 mins. that was great.it was hard to control for so long, and surely much more difficult for her. A killing silence. and we laughed so loudly after it, without speaking.

love you jaan. Dil Se...